Would the Right Diagnosis Please Sit Down!

This blog is about our youngest son, Callum, who at the present time is being treated for "chronic constipation".  At least that's the current diagnosis.  Prior to that it was "mega colon" and prior to that it was simply "issues with potty training" or as I'm sure some people thought "issues with parenting".  Oh, and prior to that we just had a busy boy in diapers.  Talking about this is not easy and maybe some would question whether this topic is blog-worthy or not but the truth is - this is our life and will be his long after we're done looking after him!  


We have learned that the morbidity rate with chronic constipation is higher than that of diabetes...didn't know that!  


Callum is now 6 years old and is known to most people as a child who has "no sit in his bum".  He has been a challenge to toilet train right from the get go - and I say "has been" because we're not finished yet!   Callum is always in a hurry...has been so ever since we knew there was going to be a new mouth to feed!  He arrived into the existence two months early - couldn't wait to get on stage and put on a show for the whole world to see!  He was a very impatient breast-feeder, we couldn't get the spoon in fast enough and as soon as he learned to walk he pushed that aside for running...and I've been running ever since!  


We tried everything doctors and other well-meaning parents have suggested to get Callum to have a "normal poop".  Timers, books, games, toys, music...we tried it all.  As parents we read article upon article on potty training and boys in particular, and were very careful not to "force" him to sit on the potty as we didn't want to put him there before "he was ready". For a while we thought he was just being manipulative but we were told by physicians that we had to force him to sit because obstruction, hemorrhoids and other complications were becoming a risk.  So we tried the firm approach and sat him down with a timer and entertained him as best we could.


Then came school!  We weren't being too successful in getting him to cooperate in the toileting department and we suspected an all-day every day kindergarten plan might present a problem so I quit my full time job so I could be available to run to the school at a moment's notice.  Sure enough, Callum wouldn't poop at school and I was running there at least every other day or so to bail out the teacher.  Socially, school became an issue because the teacher tried an approach of setting a timer for Callum to remind her to send him to the bathroom (every hour!) and the kids in the class all knew when the timer when off that it was time for Callum to go to the bathroom!  


Callum was to the point of almost being incontinent and having "accidents" or "leaks" almost every day.  Our GP diagnosed him with "mega-colon", gave us a gentle laxative and told us it could take a year or two to correct the problem.    So we carried wipes, extra undies and clothes wherever we went.


That was two years ago!  Fast forward to 2012 and move down a few thousand miles to the Cayman Islands and we're still dealing with the same problem only we now have a pediatrician from the UK who's quite aggressive and is trying to get to the bottom of the problem...pun intended!  

An x-ray one month ago showed he was full right up to his tummy...which means basically that his system has been overflowing...and probably for the better part of two years!  Fast forward to just yesterday and he's still full!  But add in there the fact that we have been giving him...change that - forcing him to take a very salty and yucky tasting laxative for a month that gives him the runs but no normal poop.  As soon as the doctor showed us the x-ray yesterday, he immediately got on the phone to a children's hospital in Miami to speak "urgently" with one of their Gastroenterologists as he was "very disconcerted" about the x-ray results.  


So now we've been told to stop the yucky tasting medicine that it "failed miserably" and to wait to hear from the doctor in Miami about what to do next.  


Apart from looking forward to less laundry, "accidents" in public places, and ditching my backpack, I'm very much looking forward to the day when I can say "yes" to invites for play dates or even sleepovers...away from home and without me and my backpack in attendance!  And I'm sure Callum will be much happier (as if he could be happier!) - maybe much more confident when he is able to know how and when to poop all by himself like all of his friends.  


Funny thing is the doctor has promised Callum that once he is cleared out and pooping normally that he will feel so much better and have much more energy!  Yikes...seriously??!!  Maybe I should start learning how to roller blade now!! 

A Near Death Experience in Cayman

We have had quite a few creature-sightings in the past little while, so many that some of my homeschooling friends are quite convinced that we should be well equipped to simply live off the land!  Last week we were serenaded by frogs night and day; they seemed to be coming out of the woodwork along with millions of microscopic ants.  During many of our after sundown excursions around town we have been entertained by crabs of all sizes expertly demonstrating the crab-walk everywhere, even right up to our front doorstep, even scratching on the front door.  I'm not sure where they get the idea that we might let them in!


Yesterday, we began our morning with a 6 inch ugly centipede inching his way across our dining room floor.  I quickly ran for a pair of shoes and stomped him out of existence then took a picture to share the "ickyness" with friends and family.  


We spotted a large turtle meandering through the grass on the way to the grocery store one evening.  Immediately I asked Jay to stop the car, insisting we must get a picture of this fella, and that it shouldn't be too hard, since it was a turtle after all! Well, this tortoise probably would have beat the hare in the race.  I was only able to snatch a distant and very blurry picture of him because the closer I snuck up to him, the faster he literally RAN away!


Iguanas in various sizes and colours roam the island in large quantities and are quite fascinating to observe.  When they are feeling threatened they run like lightning, a sight which is both amazing and comical to witness, especially given their very short legs and broad build.  Today, we were witnesses of a near death experience for one of our neighbourhood iguanas!  I had just finished chatting with a neighbour outside, walked across the lawn and come in the front door when there was a very loud and panicky scratching noise on the outside of the door.  So outside I went again - but this time through the back door and around to the front. There on our front doorstep was a large iguana, the type with the loooong striped tail, sitting still as a mouse and looking like he'd seen a ghost! 


We figured out later that the cat I had seen scurrying around the corner had actually been chasing the iguana and had almost caught the poor guy's tail!  That iguana hung out on our front porch for probably 15 minutes, not moving a muscle.  I even approached within a few inches for a closer photo-op and he did not budge!  Just in case he, like the crab, had a notion that he would like to come in for a visit, I didn't mention to him that I had a back door and that I planned to use it until he felt safe enough to leave his post.  From inside, we watched him eventually very slowly creep around the corner and that was the last we saw of him.  I can imagine that he may have some fairly traumatic nightmares for a few nights and perhaps will need some Valium to settle his frantic nerves! 


Amazingly enough, we are still awaiting our first parrot sighting, although we are given to understand that they fly in pairs and are seen quite often.  Perhaps they like only certain areas of the island and although this island is quite small, we have yet to see it in its entirety.  


Our boys have always wanted a pet gecko or iguana for their own.  How much greater the opportunity is for them to observe, learn about and enjoy in their natural habitats, these reptiles as well as many more of God's great creations on this island.  

Alphabet Songs

This blog is geared to my fellow homeschooling moms who have children that are music lovers.  Our Callum is very passionate about music and I'm always looking for ways to teach him his 3 Rs through music.  We are starting on some simple word families with him but I'm still finding that he is struggling with some of his letters.  So I started a YouTube search and I have discovered some great Alphabet Songs and videos that I think are really going to work for him.


The website is called "Have Fun With Teaching" for "Alphabet Songs"  and here is the link if anyone is interested   http://havefunteaching.com/songs/alphabet-songs/

Today I met an angel...

It's hard to believe that it's been a month since the boys and I joined Jay in Grand Cayman.  The month has gone by so quickly on one hand and yet in some ways it seems like forever.  The old saying "a lot of water under the bridge" is a true picture of our lives as so much has happened since we set foot on the island.  "The adventure of a lifetime" continues to present us with many new challenges as well as blessings and opportunities for personal growth.  

Robert is settling in very nicely with his school assignments.  He will have a birthday early next month and is very excited about that!  One surprise for me was discovering that the Kindergarten curriculum provided for Callum is designed for a classroom setting!  I'm quite sure that the consultant was aware that I was "home"-schooling!!  So there are kinks to work out there which probably will result in a change of curriculum for Grade 1.  

I am very passionate about teaching my children to troubleshoot their own problems. Whether they're solving math equations, spelling a difficult word, trying to catch a gecko or resolving a personal conflict I think it's important for them to learn how to use their brains!  Budgeting involves very creative troubleshooting skills.  I also am learning that in my own life it has been so easy to slap down the "plastic" rather than wait for cash on hand, or even repair rather than replace broken items.  "Making do" is becoming a way of life for us that we're surprisingly growing to prefer!  AND, we're using our brains too!!  Creativity in this area of life can be a lot of fun and I am convinced our marriage is growing stronger because of it!  


Today I met an angel!  It's funny how many times I have tried to attend various garage sales since we have been here but for one reason or another it has never worked out until today.  And in God's perfect timing, the garage sale we went to today was tailor-made for me, not necessarily in terms of material things we needed, but in terms of blessings!  The lady running the garage sale quickly found out that we were fellow homeschoolers, and shared her heart of compassion for people in our situation...new to the island, homeschooling their children, and setting up home in a very expensive country.  She gave us a 50% discount on pretty much everything we wanted to purchase, and in addition gave us a large container FULL of construction paper...for free!  What a gift!!


That's what I cherish about God's family...it doesn't matter if you attend the same church, have mutual friends, or even if you live in the same country. We never know when we might be called to be used of God or be blessed by God through a total stranger.  I may never again cross paths with the angel I met today, but I am grateful for the divine appointment that God provided and I pray that He will bless her for her generosity.

Long Time No Blog

It seems like forever since I last sat down to pen the latest adventures of our family. We had  our first visitor when Nana came to town for a few days.  Her week of holidays with us was action-packed with a trip to the chiropractor, a few dinners at the beach, patiently waiting on us to make a decision on which car to purchase and all the rigmarole that goes along with that and watching our children while we obtained immigration medicals, outstanding documentation and photos to complete Jay's final work permit.  And just to keep the week lively, Jay was scheduled for his first week on-call during that week as well!!


Our homeschooling curriculum arrived last Friday and the boys and I have successfully now completed a few days worth of school work!!  Robert is doing very well on his own and is enjoying the challenge of assuming responsibility for his academic achievements.  Callum is doing great as well and is enjoying our story times together.  The principal from the Christian School nearby has very graciously offered to let the boys attend music, gym and Spanish classes in the fall which will be a great way to augment their schedules.  


Yesterday the boys and I were blessed with a visit from a lady at church who has lived on island for a very long time.  What a wonderful and informative visit during which I had pen and note paper in hand scribbling down one suggestion after another about where and when to shop for the best grocery bargains and where to dine on a dime.  


We also learned from Miss Bodden that the reason most locals don't have their street address memorized is that official mapping on the island only began just a few short years ago!!  One of my sisters would get along well down here - especially when they give directions like "you know where the brown building is?...well just turn there and we're through the roundabout on the right hand side just past the big breadfruit tree"!!  We are a very techie savvy household and our latest struggle with culture shock is attempting to navigate through many streets without signs and realizing that even a GPS or Google Maps might not even help!!


Sometimes I think that we tend to put earthly values on God's blessings and thereby minimize their impact on our lives.  His daily provision in our lives so often goes unnoticed and unappreciated.  Tonight as I sit and put thoughts to paper (or screen), I am humbled by God's provision to our family.  Just today, for example, we have received a blessing that by our standards is "huge" and yet was no greater challenge for God to accomplish than supplying us with every breath we take!  I think that we become more aware of how alive God really is when we're faced with a situation where we can't do anything else but focus our eyes on Him.  And that's all part of God's great plan for our lives isn't it?

One Week Ago

It's hard to believe that a week has gone by since our move to Grand Cayman.  Many things have changed in our lives in that short period of time.  We don't drive on the right hand side of the road anymore and whoever is driving doesn't sit on the left side of the car anymore.  We turn the water heater on only when we need it and the dryer door opens up horizontally rather than vertically.  The currency we deal in has dimes that look the size of our nickels and nickels that look the size of our dimes.  


One week ago we lived with lights on all over the house, washed half-loads of laundry and ran the A/C as cool as we wanted at very little expense.  Now we are challenging ourselves to wash the dishes and the laundry, take a shower, clean and cool the house using much less water and electricity than we ever did before.  We have also changed from living in a home we purchased, have become landlords ourselves and now live in someone else's investment.


One week ago our two boys were begging for a pet lizard, iguana or snake.  Now they have a multitude of those critters at their disposal in various colours, shapes and sizes.  Centipedes before were stepped on because they were found inside our home and they grossed me out. Now they are whacked very aggressively, inside or outside, with whatever large object you can quickly get your hands on because besides being gross they are much larger and known to pinch!


Grocery stores here are very similar to those with which we are familiar, except of course the prices!  Cost-u-Less is perhaps the best place to shop - it is very similar to Costco other than there are no membership fees and it is missing the Wii section (as noted by Robert).  Other than that it will still Cost-u-More!!  Eggs in the Caymans are very cheap and we are becoming experts at hunting for those "manager's special" or "reduced for quick sale" stickers.  Menu planning is quickly becoming a new hobby of mine, which is ironic because I have procrastinated in that area of organization for a long time!


One other thing that has changed is that we are having more heart-to-heart chats with our children and their bear hugs seem to be more frequent and perhaps even a little more intense!  


As I look back over this one short week I would have never imagined that so many changes could take place!  So many of our adjustments are positive as we are learning to conserve, share and appreciate things in ways we never thought possible.  In some ways we are being forced to make changes we would have never been willing to submit to previously.  God has an amazing way of accomplishing His work in our lives and, if necessary, will take us to whatever corner of the world He deems best in order to mold us to be more like Him.

Heart surgery

We have had a fantastic week since arriving here on Tuesday, yet you can't put a price on the blessings received from worshiping with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ even if most of them are still strangers at this point.  The worship music was just that...very worshipful and there was lots of it!!  And once again I was reminded as loudly as a clash of thunder, that God's timing is perfect.  

The Sunday School class Jay and I attended was a video series on a book by Ted Tripp called "Shepherding a Child's Heart".  I have previously read this book and felt that this would be a great class to attend since I was familiar with the subjects to be discussed. One thing I didn't already know was that God had planned a long time ago that I should be in that class today and hear the charge that this speaker was giving to his viewers.  

Mr. Tripp shared an illustration of a parent/child interaction where he could have very easily used my name as the mom involved and would have accurately described an encounter with myself and one of our boys as recent as a week ago.  

I was rebuked that all too often I am focused on my agenda for the day or the moment and not on the hearts of the precious lives God has entrusted to my care.  Sometimes fixing a child's behaviour seems the simplest course of action, but unfortunately, the simplest thing for me isn't always the best for my children and can have long term repercussions on their hearts.  

More soul searching thoughts on my blog today...I guess that probably tends to happen when we're sticking to our budget and not running around spending money in order to occupy our time!  Maybe, no change that to I'm POSITIVE, that this is all part of God' great design in bringing us down here!  

Simple can be hard sometimes!!

In my last post I made reference to not having a credit card to purchase snacks for the boys on the plane.  Living without credit cards is a conscious albeit somewhat radical choice that Jay and I have made on our journey to debt-free living.  Like many people in today's society we have fallen prey to society's pressure to conform to a certain standard of living.  However, at the same time we have, by example, taught our children that purchases can always be made regardless of the balance in the bank account.  


Our move to the Cayman Islands will undoubtedly involve challenging budgeting adventures in addition to the many others we will encounter.  This island, like anywhere else is full of so many opportunities to spend, spend, spend!!!  And our children are no less capable of innocently pressuring us to blow our budget than when we lived in Canada!  The task of juggling our Canadian account and responsibilities there, coupled with expenses and two different currencies in the Caymans can seem daunting at times.   


The simple thing to do would be to cave in and apply for credit privileges here but in our choice for a simpler life that would make things more difficult.  In terms of budgeting we would of course follow the expected guidelines of paying the balance off monthly and that in itself is fairly simple.  However, I am convinced that it would become very difficult to exemplify to our boys how scripture promises that their Heavenly Father will supply all their needs and how constant prayer is so essential in the Christian walk.  


As Christian parents, Jay and I have an opportunity and responsibility in life, no matter where we live, to show to our children through our lives, right down to the last penny, that our God truly does care about us and will provide.  Hard as it may be for us to accept, maybe He won't provide everything according to the material list that WE have created. But He never has and never will go against His word to simply "supply all our needs according to His riches in glory." 

"I can see the gravity down there Mommy!"

Our trip to the Caymans yesterday was incredibly uneventful for which I am very thankful!  The day started at 5:00am as the boys and I packed up the van that was so graciously loaned to us, picked up Grandma and Papa and headed to the airport.  The van was packed so tightly with luggage that there was just barely enough room for the passengers.  


We arrived at the airport in good time, transferred the luggage to carts, took pictures with Grandma and Papa and with many mixed emotions, said our good-byes.  Next stop, baggage claim - the true test of whether the luggage scale we had purchased was accurate or not.  So in line we get - but wait...Callum has to go to the washroom all of a sudden...yikes!!!  You can well imagine us with six large suitcases on two separate carts, one carry-on bag one personal item each.  Thank goodness the bathroom was not too far away, but I was still very concerned that if we started to move this grand entourage, we might not make it in time!  And of course, at the airport, leaving baggage unattended is a big no-no, so I explained our situation to the lady directing traffic at our baggage claim area and she was okay with Robert minding the luggage while Callum and I took care of business!  Thank you Lord!!  Robert is not the type to worry in the least in a situation like that and also would never wander off so as I expected he was still standing in the exact same spot when we returned.  


Before we boarded the plane we had so much to carry already, I thought it would be a nice treat to buy the boys a snack on-board rather  than in the airport.  However, one thing I wasn't aware of is that on West Jet flights, they take credit cards only for snack purchases, etc.  And we have made the choice to no longer use credit cards....hmmm!!  The stewardess was very thoughtful and donated two cheese and cracker platters to our cause that were left over!  I am so glad that God thinks about the little things!  


The flight was a lot of fun with quite a bit of turbulence, which I don't mind and the boys hardly even noticed. They both watched TV the whole time and although I'm usually not one to allow my children four hours of TV at a time, Callum never left his seat the whole flight and they both were incredibly well behaved.  Robert started out in the window seat and they switched about half way through the flight.  The Callum quote of the day was when he looked out the window and said "I can see the gravity down there, Mommy!" 


We landed on time and were greeted by Jay and a "welcome home" sign.  Callum was so excited to see daddy that he tripped as he was running, but no tears and no blood.  Robert was so excited to see daddy that he left his luggage cart parked right in front of the doors!  Needless to say the boys were ecstatic to see their daddy after a long month apart.  


A pastor from the church Jay has been attending was very kind to meet us at the airport as well with his van to help move us in and the pastor's wife stopped by later with spaghetti and meat balls for our first dinner here in our new home!  We took the kids to the beach for a while and just as the sand here sticks like glue, the boys were equally hard to pull away from the water when it was time to leave.  


While the boys were playing and swimming, I sat in a lounge chair, thoroughly enjoyed the sunset and reflected on the goodness of my Heavenly Father to us throughout the day.  We have so much to be thankful for, not the least of which is gravity, and that little naive comment of Callum's has reminded me how great and powerful my God truly is!  

One More Sleep

It's unbelievable how time can fly by so fast and yet stand so still!  It seems like such a long time ago since I received a text from Jay that I thought was just a big joke - "how would you feel about relocating to the Caribbean"?  That was the middle of January and here we are already in the middle of April with only one more sleep until the boys and I step on that plane to take us to our new home, new friends, new culture, new just about everything. One more sleep until our friends and family at home will be missed, loved and appreciated like never before.  One more sleep until we as parents have an incredible responsibility yet equally wonderful opportunity to share with our boys in an adventure guided by our Heavenly Father that will have a profound impact on their lives.  

Robert and Callum are extremely excited even just to fly on a plane!  Robert and I flew together a few years ago and he was almost bursting with excitement the whole time the plane was moving, so I can't wait to hear that unique giggle again.  I think if he could just get in a plane and repeatedly take off and land all day he would be thrilled to pieces!  Callum on the other hand, has never flown before and for those who know Callum even just a little know that he has "no sit in his bum" - I'm hoping that he will surprise me and keep that character trait a secret from all the airline staff!  

Homeschooling has taken on a completely different "curriculum" these past few months.  The boys have learned about material things and how unimportant they are, a lesson that I think never ends!  Callum has enjoyed the countdown so much he doesn't realize he's also been learning subtraction!  They have learned how to paint and clean up paint spills, wash dishes, floors, windows, and walls.  They have learned how to make their beds in a hurry and how to make sure the house is ready for "show-time."  

One thing I have learned as a homeschooling mom is that I am learning more than the kids!  Recently, I have learned how patient God is and how impatient I can be sometimes. I catch myself saying "God's timing is always perfect" quite regularly and even though I know that truth deep in my heart, I have learned I can be quite reluctant to simply rest in His arms and be at peace with that perfect timing!  How often do I look back and praise God for His perfect timing in the past and yet find it so hard to praise Him for His perfect timing yet to come!  

Psalm 121:3 says, "He who watches over you will not slumber, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep".  So here we are... with ONE more sleep...when God is NOT sleeping, but is lovingly keeping watch over us, protecting, preparing and providing.  My God's not dead...He is surely alive!!

BOOK 'EM!!

This first of many blog posts is a story not soon to be forgotten!!  Names have been changed to protect the identity of my children since they are still juveniles!!

I found out on Thursday that I had to go to Richmond Hill to get a police check to bring to the Cayman Islands with me.  Robert came into the house to report that Callum had hit him in the face with his lightsaber (crime #1).  A few minutes later Callum came crying (he's the actor in the family), and reported that Robert had hit him in the back with his lightsaber (crime #2).  

So with both boys standing in front of me, I quickly packed up my things, grabbed my keys and said very firmly "alright boys, the ONLY place to deal with this is the police station...get IN the car...NOW!"  Of course the boys wondered why we had to go to the police station.  I told them I've had it and I needed to see how the police would handle this situation and I wasn't sure if they would need to spend a night in jail or not.  Robert thought about things for a little while then said "Mommy, how old do you have to be to go to jail?"  

The ride was fairly quiet most of the way and the silence was broken only once in a while with a few questions from Robert about whether I was REALLY taking them to the police station.  Callum had fallen asleep, unfortunately for Robert who was eagerly trying to apologize to his younger brother for his criminal behaviour!  

We arrived at the police station just a few minutes before they closed, so I hurriedly grabbed Callum out of his seat and firmly said "Come Robert, into the police station we go".   We were greeted by an officer who sensed my rushed demeanor and with a concerned voice said, "What happened?" I said, "Sir, these two boys have been fighting with their lightsabers and hitting each other.  Robert and Callum, GO SIT DOWN OVER THERE."  Then I whispered to the officer that I was really here for a police check for myself and he directed me to the next window, where I completed the appropriate form, paid the lady and sat down to wait.  Oh my, the wait must have been somewhat terrifying for the boys because I sat with a very serious face and just kept saying "well I just don't know what they'll say or how they will want to handle this one"!! 

Police check done and we started toward the door.  I purposefully tried to catch the eye of the officer who initially greeted us on our way in and sure enough, he looked our way, stretched his long arm out over the counter and pointed straight at the boys and gave them a small lecture about treating each other with respect and definitely not hitting each other.  He took extra care to single out Callum and said "right buddy?" to which Callum replied "yup, and we don't hit back"!!

The ride home was quite a bit different.  Robert of course had figured out fairly early on that I was trying to scare them, but he did say "I was a little bit on the cautious side, JUST in case!!"